Couple’s Counseling

couples_counselingThere are many reasons that couples may benefit from counseling. These may range from the prevention of future problems as in pre-marriage counseling, to emergency counseling efforts to avoid imminent divorce or breakup. All relationships go through trials and tribulations, some will be major. It is how relationship problems are solved that may affect the outcome of the relationship. Sometimes a compounding of several issues that hurt can make little problems seem insurmountable.

Communication issues in relationships

In couples and marriage counseling we will help both of you be heard. Through the process of fighting, you may feel that you have communicated your needs, and you have simply not been heard. Most often, your message is all but lost by your delivery. Difficulties in relationships are often the result of un-met needs. A counselor will work with you to help you gain each other’s respect; understand each other’s positions. By respecting your partner’s feelings and understanding their thoughts, you will have a great opportunity to then fulfill each other’s needs.

Counseling will help you learn how to stop the negative compounding of hurts. We will then unravel the layers of misunderstanding. How do you hurt each other now? Are you really hearing your partner? Counseling will teach you to call a truce in your unproductive process of fighting.  Counseling helps re-build the foundation of trust needed to solve the problems. From there, counseling can peel back the protective layers that have formed around you both. You will feel safer as the trust begins to grow.

Issues might include:

• Depression • Couples counseling • Lack of intimacy
• Infidelity • Pre-marriage counseling • Aging parents
• Values clarification • Marriage counseling • Communication problems
• Life transitions and major life changes • Relationship counseling • Health/Physical challenges
• Abuse & Trauma • Divorce counseling • Job loss
• Dissatisfaction with life • Co-parenting • Codependency
• Health issues • Retirement • Sexual dissatisfaction
• Mid life issues • Addictions • In-law problems
• Parenting differences • Loss of love • Custody fights
• Empty nester issues • Mental health issues • Financial disagreements

 

Couples often come into counseling with the knowledge that they need to communicate better. In order to communicate better, couples must learn how to disagree, how to be fair, so that only the issue or disagreement itself is in play. Couples must learn not to insult one another. Employing rules of how to appropriately argue, couples can learn to solve their disagreements. See more in “Communication for couples” blogs: blog 1

Couples and marriage counseling can be very short term, such that a single issue is to be resolved. It can also be a longer process that includes developing a greater sense of intimacy and feeling increased joy in the relationship. Through the years your priorities may change, your values may change. You may have reached the point that you don’t feel you know one another. Changes in the environment may have affected your relationship; health issues, disabilities, children being born or leaving home, infidelity, deaths, career, and aging parents. These are all issues that can throw a couple off-balance.

The counseling is necessarily unique for each couple. Usually both parties are present. Occasionally we might schedule an individual session to help break through a particular issue. Sometimes one partner in the relationship will not participate in counseling. Change can still happen! One partner can effect change by gaining new perspective and thus greatly improving the relationship.

Co-parenting and divorce counseling

Sometimes the decision to divorce or split has already been made yet you might have mutual interests that will keep you both connected for an extended period of time. This may include complex financial entanglements, children, mutual businesses and friends. These issues can often prevent personal healing or be harmful to children and other mutual relationships. Counseling can help you learn what battles are most important and which are not important. Through counseling you may learn how to support the other parent for the benefit of your kids and the necessary give-and-take to reduce tensions.

Individual counseling after a break-up can help you evaluate your contribution to the problems, and as a result gain awareness to prevent that in future relationships. Counseling can heal your wounds, mourn your losses and prepare for future happy and intimate relationships.

Relationship Counseling

Relationships are a necessary part of our lives and each play a role in making our lives complete.  Often these relationships need help. Intimate relationships with our spouse or partner, relationships with close friends, siblings, parents and colleagues; these are all important parts of our lives. Relationships can make your life fulfilled or stressful. Individual counseling can clarify the significance of a relationship. Counseling can identify the damage to those friendships. Today with families spread far and wide, relationships become more important. How do you stay close to your family? How do you cultivate friends that become close like family? How do you recognize relationships that are harming to you; ones that should be ended? Relationship counseling can help when worked on in individual counseling or with some or all of the people in the relationship participating.

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