Spread the Love: Celebrate Valentine’s Day Every Day.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, many people are busy planning something special to surprise their significant other.  But worrying about making Valentine’s Day perfect can be stressful, and one terrific day cannot fix your relationship problems; nor does it make up for all of the other days (when you didn’t make your partner feel special).  So, instead of focusing on a single grand gesture, why not spread the love and appreciation you show on Valentine’s Day throughout the year?  Here are some ideas to get you started.  Note: consult with your significant other before dispensing with Valentine’s Day altogether, or they will probably be disappointed.

Move Past Your Expectations.

The commercial nature of most holidays focuses our attention on buying and giving gifts (like cards, candy, and flowers).  While there is nothing wrong with getting your significant other a nice present every now and then, it can create pressure if your expectations are not on the same page as theirs.  You should also take care to avoid the tendency to conflate the price of the gift with the value of the thought behind it.  Spreading your signs of affection throughout the year can help to alleviate this problem, but you should also be careful that your expectations don’t extend to the day-to-day too.  Talking with your partner is the best way to manage expectations so no one feels hurt.

Use the Languages of Love.

Showing someone how much you care can take many forms.  Saying “I love you” is just the tip of the iceberg.  Helping your partner with chores, or doing something like packing a special surprise in their lunch are great ways to express your feelings.  Initiating physical contact, even simply reaching out to take their hand, is another option for showing your love.  No matter how busy you are, take the time to give your significant other a small sign of your affection every day.  Even the little gestures will go a long way towards strengthening your relationship.

Expand Your Vocabulary.

Whether it’s a sticky note on the mirror or in their lunchbox, or a quick text or voicemail, there are millions of ways to say “I love you.”  So why do we consistently fall back on those three little words?  Overuse can diminish their meaning (and impact) over time.  So shake up your routine by finding new and creative ways to tell your partner how much they mean to you.  Whether you’re complimenting them or putting your feelings into words, they are sure to appreciate the extra effort.

If you still feel like you and your significant other are having trouble connecting, South Denver Psychotherapy is here to help.  Our therapists can show both of you techniques and strategies to improve communication so that you can build a stronger bond with each other.  Call us to set up an appointment.

Vday Everyday

 

Further Reading

http://extension.psu.edu/somerset/news/2013/valentine2019s-day-and-valuing-your-relationship

https://www.chhs.colostate.edu/news/item/?ID=71692

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/millennial-media/201501/taking-the-pressure-valentines-day